Bringing up Girls: Plantagenets and Tudors

Now haue I thee taught, doughter, As my modir dide me
Thinke theron nyght and day, forgote that it not be
Haue mesur and lownes, as I haue thee taught,
And what man thee wedde schal, him dare care naught
Betere were a child unborn
Than untaught of wifje lore
Mi leue child'
       (How the Good Wijfe Taught hir Doughtir, Lambeth MS 853, c. 1430 ed. F.J. Furnivall, EETS original         series Vol. 32)

Like noblemen's sons, daughters were usually sent away to receive part of their education in another household, hopefully of superior status, where they could acquire social poise and make friendships which would be useful to them in later life.  The rise of Bess of Hardwick, one of the most notable Elizabethan success stories, for a woman,  began when this daughter of a good, but not very important Yorkshire family was sent to London as lady in waiting to Lady Zouch.  There she met and married Robert Barlow, a rich but sickly young man.  He soon died, leaving her with the first of the fortunes which she gained through her marriages.  She became the richest woman in England after the Queen.
Girl;s were sometimes even sent out of the country.  Mary Queen of Scots, sent to France as a child bride, took her four little Marys with her.  Anne Boleyn was also sent to France, with Mary Tudor.  Lord Lisle's wards Anne and Mary Bissett were both placed with good French families in 1533 and 15834 when they were about twelve.  They were able to perfect their French and meet French society. (The Lisle Letters ed. Muriel St. Clare Byrne, 1981)  Muriel St. Clare Byrne calls their education a combination of finishing school and European tour.

Imaginary portrait of Mary Queen of Scots as a child.  John Osterlund . Glasgow Museums

Alternatively girls might be sent for a convent education, like the Lisle's daughter Bridget.  In 1536 she was living at St. Mary's Convent Winchester with twenty-six 'children of lords, knights and gentlemen.'.  Bridget was sent there when she was six.

Until the Renaissance girls received even less formal education that boys.  Those who entered nunneries moight have opportunities for study but on the whole learned women were frowned on.  So, in the 13th century Romance of Floriz and Blauncheflour, when the king's son is old enough to begin his lessons his playmate Blauncheflour is excluded:

'Al wepying seid he
"Ne schal not Blancheflour lerne with me?
Ne can y in no scole syng ne rede
Without Blancheflour" he seide.'
    (The Romance of Florizel and Blauncheflour.  Trentham MS, now Egerton 2862 c. 1250 In Middle                English Metrical Romances ed. Walter Hoyt French and Charles Brockway Hale, New York, 1964,           Vol. 2..  Quoted in Dorothy Gardiner English girlhood at school, 1929)

Upper class girls studied English or French rather than Latin as this was considered a social grace.  They also studied dancing, some music, and were expected to acquire courtly manners, charm and good deportment.  However girls mostly learned domestic skills.  In an age when food for use during winter had to be preserved, and cloth had to be first spun and then woven manually before it could be made into clothes, such household skills were very important.  Even a noblewoman with large numbers of servants needed to have some knowledge of the processes involved in order to run the household.  All the making of preserves, salting, curing, butter and bread making, some spinning and weaving and the preparation of day to day herbal remedies were in the hands of the women and a man expected his wife to direct them.    So the 15th century romance Partonope of Blois describes how the daughter of Constantine learned:
   'To know of every herbe the vertue
And eke of Rothis (roots) where ever they grew
Whether they in kynde be colde or hote
The names of Spyces I know by rote
How in phisike they have her worching
The syke in to heele I canne wele bring.'
   (Partonope of Blois et. W.E. Buckley for the Roxburgh Club,quoted in Gardner op cit p,43)

Also, if a landowner was called away by his overlord to fight, his wife would be expected to take over the running of his estates, a serious business in an agricultural economy.  The knights and soldiers who went to fight in the Crusades were away for several years in some cases.  So while nobly born boys were trained for fighting, their sisters were trained for a domestic role.  So were the daughters of artisans, merchants and farmers.  The advice the Good Wijf gives her daughter on the running of her household gives some idea of the life of a middle class housewife at that time:

Unknown mother and child, Paulus van Somer National Trust collection

  'With your household don't be too sharp or too easy; set them to work at what most needs doing.  If your husband is away, make your people work, and treat them according to what they do.  When necessary set to work yourself, all will be better for it.  Look after your household when at work, and have faults put to rights at once.  See everything straight when they leave work; keep your keys yourself and beware who you trust.  Pay your people on wages day and be generous to them.'
    How the Good Wijf taught hir Doughter c. 1430 EETS Original series Vol. 32 ed. F.J. Furnivall)



There are records of women in business, particularly widows who inherited from their husbands, but far fewr girls were apprenticed to a skill than boys, those that were being mainly apprenticed to traditional female crafts such as the textile trade or became servants.  And always the women sewed.  The invention of the sewing machine, the great liberator, did not happen till the 19th century.  Meantime, from high to low, from childhood to the grave, they sewed, embroidered, ,knitted, darned and mended.  William the Conqueror defeated Harold, his wife Matilda iommortalised the battle in a tapestry to hang on the walls of a draughty castle.  Mary Quewen of Scots wiled away the long hours of captivity embroidering hangings with Bess of Hardwick.  Little princesses and less well born girls sat with for long hours labouring over trousseaux,  ready for marriage.  Most of what a girl was taught was to fit her for being a good wife, and the stress was on obediance:
  'Keep all that I have told you and your husband won't regret marrying you.'
said the Good Wijf.
  'Love your husband above all earthly things.  Answer him meekly and he'll love you.  Be cheerful and true and keep free from blame.'

Books of manners for girls stress the importance of guarding that virtue:
  'Sit not by him neither stand where sin might be wrought
For a scandal raised ill
Is evil forto still
My beloved child.'
   says the Good Wijf
'When any man speaks to you, greet him only, and then let him go on, as he might tempt you to do wrong. For all men are not true that speak fair.  Take no gifts, the're the ruin of many a true woman'.

In The good wyfe wold a pylyremage, c. 1460-70, the writer is more explicit and goes into some detail about the behaviour of flirtatious medieval women:
'Doughter, said the good wife,
hide thy legs white
And show not forth thy street hose (stockings)
To make men have delight....
Though it please them for a time
it shall be thy despite (shame)
And men will say
Of thy body thou carest but light.'
  ( The Good Wyfe Wold a Pylremage, EETS extra series Vol. 8 ed. F.J. Furnivall, )

Child with a rattle, 

Paulus van Somer (1576–1621 

Flemish)

The Good Wyfe is strongly in favour of early marriage:

'And look to thy daughters than none of them be lorn (lost)

From that same time that they be of thee born

Busy thee and gather fast towaqrds their marriage

And give them to spousing as soon as they be able

Maidens be fair and amiable

But of their love ful unstable

My beloved child'

'Gather fast towards their marriage' refers to the custom of giving a dowry with a daughter when she married.  This was intended originally as some kind of security for her.  It was not an outright payment to the husband or his family, and if the marriage broke up the dowry was supposed to return with the wife to her family.  Inevitably, dowries were not always returned and there were numerous lawsuits over disputed claims.  In the case of an heiress the dowry would probably consist mainly of land and money, but a wife normally also brought with her a good stock of household goods such as linen sheets, all made by her.

The Good Wijf continues with some more advice on behaviour her daughter is to avoid when married, which sheds revealing light on the life of a middle class housewife around the time of Chaucer:
  'Don't swear. In town don't gad about, or get drunk on your cloth money (ie money made by selling cloth the daughter has woven and sewn)

Furthermore:
   'Don't go to wrestling and shooting at targets like a strupet but stay at home.'
She gives general advice on conduct towards husband and neighbours:
'Don't be jealous of your neighbour's fine dress...Love your neighbours and do as you would be done by....Don't ruin your husband with your extravagance if he is poor.  Bleed a wren according to his viens.  Don't borrow or take your own dues first or show off with others' goods.
On bringing up children she takes the orthodox medieval line and advises severity:
'If your children are saucy and rebellious if any of them do wrong do not curse or hit them but take a smart rod and beat them in a row until they cry mercy and admit their guilt.'

Unlike the advice for boys, the Good Wijf books of manners are clearly directed to someone who will be occupying a subordinate position.  It is true daughters may carry carry considerable responsibilities, but they must make it their aim to please, and little medieval or Tudor girls learned this in early childhood.

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